Why I Will Always Dance With My Teenage Daughters (with a DJ on NYE) (5 minute read)
Family was out of the country for the Christmas holiday, and it extended into 2026—which brings me to New Year’s Eve. Our family of four sat down for some appetizers and refreshments. For the record, I did not consume alcohol on NYE. That detail matters in this story. I do occasionally imbibe, but alcohol leaves my joints feeling inflamed, my brain slower than usual, my stomach charred, and my mood slightly more negative than your average Monday-morning “ready to start the week” feeling.
After we left the restaurant by the beach, we stumbled across a fire show. The performer was literally slurping some sort of fluid into his mouth before sucking in a fireball and blowing out clouds of flames. My daughter said that she felt like this show was an example of “next-level” self-harm, and we were all concerned for his well-being (ohh, to be a therapist’s child). The performer went on to stomp out flames with his feet and put out flames with his mouth, so we moved on to the dance party further down the beach.
That takes us to the dancing part of the story. Dancing and New Year’s Eve go together (or any celebration, for that matter). And who says that you need to drink alcohol to let loose on the dance floor? Maybe you think that you do because you are self-conscious, but I’d argue that you don’t need alcohol in this case.
Mocktails are becoming more popular at restaurants and in the home.
My History with Dancing:
I grew up twirling around to Madonna in our family room and doing donkey-kick half cartwheels on our couch. I loved getting down to Bobby Brown at middle school dances. In high school and college, I never passed up the opportunity to dance to ’90s hip hop—whether in someone’s basement or at Players or the Shandygaff at Pennsylvania State University.
Fast forward to when my kids were little: my girls and I used to dance to Rusted Root and any other song with a good beat. Today, I dance to Paul Simon at the Mann Center for the Performing Arts, or to any song, for that matter, with my husband and friends at home, at weddings, or at events with a good band.
Sometimes you feel like you are flying when you dance.
Fortunately, I grew up with a father who loved to move his feet and hands to any kind of beat, whether we were in the car or on the dance floor. My dad wasn’t scared to dance, nor did he care what people thought of him. He taught me how to polka (I know—it’s kind of hickish, but that’s okay; there are a few things from my Central PA roots that I embrace). My dad taught me not to be self-conscious about how I dance—and that dancing is a lot of fun. I witnessed the joys of communal dancing and how it can offer a release from life that we otherwise take so seriously.
So when my teenage daughter looked as if she wanted to “get up offa that thing” (otherwise known as a song by James Brown—who may have the best music to dance to, in my opinion), I didn’t have to think twice about leading the way and encouraging her to “dance like no one is watching”. As a mom, it’s important for me to teach my girls how to have social courage and how to stay safe around people who are drunk.
As we began to dance to the first song, I noticed a few drunk older men (some appeared to be out for the night solo) and a couple who thought it might be a good idea to shove their poor pit bull into a BabyBjörn and force it to dance to extremely loud music. (The dog looked absolutely miserable, as you may have already guessed.) I felt a little less enthusiastic about “dancing like no one was watching”—because some people were actually watching, in a creepy way.
On the other hand, there was an adorable girl next to us (around seven years old) who was having a blast with a young woman (possibly college-aged). It appeared as if they had just met on the dance floor for the first time, like unlikely friends often do. Dancing brought all of us ladies together, from different cultures, ages, and stages of life. Dancing can unite people in mysterious and beautiful ways.
Below is a list of the 7 reasons why I will always dance with any child or adolescent girl that asks me to dance—or anyone for that matter (except creeps)— with or without a cocktail AND talk about alcohol use with my girls on New Years Eve:
1) Watch this PBS Youtube on the health benefits of dancing. Dancing improves moods and feelings of loneliness while relieving stress, increasing muscle strength, tone, flexibility and balance. It can also heal the body from trauma.
2) Teaching a girl to move her body to the music on a dance floor is much better than having Tik Tok teach our girls how to dance. For more information about how social media impacts our girls:
a) look at the Forbes Article on “How TikTok Live Became a Strip Club Filled With 15-Year-Olds (April 27, 2022) (most of us don’t pay for Forbes, but ChatGPT can give you an overview of the predator problem on Tik Tok),
b) Grace Smherz’s thesis bibliography on “An Exploratory Research on the Sexualization of Young Women on Tik Tok, and
c) anything by Dr. Jaqueline Nessi (a Psychologist who studies social media’s impact on youth mental health.
3) It is important to share the message of “being aware of your surroundings” to our kids. They don’t need to be on constant alert, but a general sense of caution is important, because bad things do happen sometimes.
4) At the risk of sounding like a Puritan named Jane- alcohol is not a necessity for having fun—no matter how many Superbowl commercials tell you otherwise. If you are truly comfortable in your own skin, the experience of “being” (social) is enough. Alcohol doesn’t always need to be a part of socializing or unwinding.
In fact, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) reminds us that alcohol is not our friend and how consuming it impacts our bodies. To name a few of the terrible problems that no one wants, I thought I would list them here for you to review. Alcohol use and misuse can cause cancer, dementia, memory and mood issues, long-lasting brain development changes, hypertension, dehydration and inflammation. Take a “Checking Your Drinking Quiz” if you would like to get more familiar with your alcohol intake patterns.
5) Talking to—and teaching—our kids about alcohol is important. I want my kids to know that alcohol is a depressant and a carcinogen, and that much of society overuses it.
6) There are many ways to dance that don’t focus on being suggestive. Sometimes kids are so desensitized to sexual messages (whether it be from song lyrics, casual vernacular, fashion, images on a screen) that it’s important to show them how to carry our bodies with class and dignity— and how to exhibit self-control around alcohol at parties.
7) Dancing amongst generations is healthy. When I used to visit my grandmother in a nursing home until age 103.5, we’d sing together and chair dance. Moving together as a family encourages other ways of being. The more ways we have of being together, the more interesting and fun life can be.
That’s it for now Friends, I hope that you have learned a little about alcohol and the ancient art of dancing. It would be wonderful if this blog inspired you to throw on some good tunes and have a family dance party on any random night for no reason at all—other than to laugh and shake your groove thing.
LoveWell,
Kim
P.S. Dad, I still tap along to the beat while driving when I’m moved by a song. I wonder if your grandkids will too. Thanks for always smiling on the dance floor.
